At about this time I like to vent my petty prejudices by naming the three people who have really got on my nerves over the past week. Introducing this week's Twat Pack.

David Blaine: The magician plans to stand suspended in a small perspex box above the Thames for more than six weeks. I'd much prefer it if he was suspended in a small concrete box in the Thames.


Schools Minister, David Miliband: For no other reason than he has the sort of face I would take untold pleasure in punching. He looks like the kid in school that everyone hated, which might explain his choice of ministerial career.


Alex from Fame Academy: Cheer up love, it may never happen.