A bad night. As soon as my head hit the pillow the ants came out to play, setting up a five-a-side soccer tournament inside my plaster cast.

The itching became unbearable despite my frantic efforts to ease the pain while avoiding stabbing myself in the leg with a foot-long shoe horn. How those Egyptian Mummies managed, encased in the stuff for thousands of years in hot sarcophagi I just don't know.

Finally, I was forced to take a sleeping tablet in an attempt to stop myself from going completely insane. Thankfully, it worked. Roll on Wednesday -- cast removal day.

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